Adversaries of the Recession Movement part 3

2 Birds, 1 Plane


So instead of writing about the impending 850 Billion Dollar Obama Economic Rescue Package (that is really long title) and the Madoff Scandal (Both will be posted by next week), I am going to write about the classic paradigm of “Man versus Nature”. So if you are a cable news junkie and had a recent lobotomy to remove the part of your cortex correlate with short term memory, then a US Airways plane crashing into the Hudson River is news worthy to you. I am not denying that this isn’t news worthy, but that is up to your interpretation of news worthy is. The cause of this crash was a midair collision of object x (Flock of Geese) and object y (Airplane engine). So Alfred Hitchcock was correct, birds are still a threat to humankind! These birds are targeting white middle class US citizens with no remorse towards the Geneva accords. So to reshape the hierarchy of terror on the airways it goes:

Birds>Terrorist>Box Cutters>Liquids>Flight Delays>CIP Device>Crying Babies>In-flight Movies.

So what should we do about the imminent threat of extreme Fundamentalist Canadian Geese to the airways? Should we raise National Threat Levels to vermilion after just a few geese took down a passenger jet in NYC with nothing more than feathers and flesh? An estimates of bird collision cost the airline industry nearly $390 million per year and 470,000 hours of downtime. The new Obama Administration must open all channels of communication with all the birds that threaten American way of life. From pigeons targeting cars and peoples shoulder to bio terror agents of poultry carrying “Bird Flu.” We must also acknowledge the cause of the bird threat; human activities have drastically reshaped the boundaries of human development and nature. A means to reconcile the differences between birds and humans must be the top priority in the new Administration.